Saturday 30th November - Another day of nothing

A day of nothing? That's sort of a fib.

It is 1pm - Normally (remember that word?) normally, I would have taught 8 piano  pupils in a stuffy, rather stinky practice room  (they have a problem with damp) with no windows, no ventilation, on a fairly horrible piano. We would now be on our way home.

Instead, because of this breathlessness, I am still in bed at home, feeling perfectly fine, at least until I get up and move around.

Being 'well in bed' is... a good place to learn to be patient.

So I have been patiently doing sewing and have made one-and-a-half unstuffed frogs, and an eye-less mouse. I'm hoping to find stuffing for the frogs and the beads for eyes downstairs later today, by which time I may have finished the second frog.

I've been keeping a careful watch over the pins and needles. At the moment they are all accounted for.

I've also bought a book (the perils of one-click amazon kindle are very real)

and have embarked upon it, doing the exercises on the Bamboo app on my yoga book. Much less messy than pens and paper in bed,

The first exercise is to draw a mug, a tree, a car, a building, and person

 I don't think I have drawn many cars. Front on seemed to be the easiest.

Next, draw your own hand

Then, fill a page with straight (-ish) lines, and fill some pages with doodles. I'll spare you the straight lines; here is a page of doodles, 'as many different types of marks as you can come up with'

I rather like this page (I have done more). It has potential - a sort of overgrown industrial zone look to it.

The book follows the 'Mona Brookes' principles and quotes from her book 'Drawing with Children' - the title always makes me giggle - do you dip the children in paint, or maybe ink, before you start drawing with them. Danny Gregory is less serious and academic - bigger print, more colour pictures.

I think I'm going to enjoy this.

Friday 29th November - Day in Bed

It is a while since I have been quite so tired and breathless, but the only way I'm going to stop myself from getting on with a whole load of jobs which are nagging at me like toothache is to stay bed.

So, day in bed it has to be. I'll try sleeping it off while letting the antibiotics get on with their work

I'm not even going to post anymore than this!

Sleep well!

Wednesday 27th November - Odd sort of Feast

I've always liked the description of the picnic that Ratty put up for Mole;

‘Hold hard a minute, then!’ said the Rat. He looped the painter through a ring in his landing-stage, climbed up into his hole above, and after a short interval reappeared staggering under a fat, wicker luncheon-basket.
‘Shove that under your feet,’ he observed to the Mole, as he passed it down into the boat. Then he untied the painter and took the sculls again.
‘What’s inside it?’ asked the Mole, wriggling with curiosity.
‘There’s cold chicken inside it,’ replied the Rat briefly;
‘coldtonguecoldhamcoldbeefpickledgherkinssaladfrenchrollscresssandwiches
pottedmeatgingerbeerlemonadesodawater—-‘
‘O stop, stop,’ cried the Mole in ecstacies: ‘This is too much!’
‘Do you really think so?’ enquired the Rat seriously. ‘It’s only what I always take on these little excursions; and the other animals are always telling me that I’m a mean beast and cut it VERY fine!’

-The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame

I bought a sort of picnic for this evening, of the things I fancied eating and things my father might like, and Himself added some crackers and some boursin and some fine cheddar...

and we took it round to my father's flat for supper.

We had

slices of salmon terrine, chicken satay and peanut sauce, sliced cold topside of beef, quail's eggs and celery salt, red bell peppers stuffed with cream cheese, mini pork pies, radishes, cherry tomatoes, watermelon pieces, orange melon pieces, mango slices and of course, the cheeses and the crackers.

I also bought a little mini port selection box, so that my father and I could have a small glass of port each to finish;

(Himself doesn't really care for port, and was driving).

Excellent end to the day!

Tuesday 26th November - Normal again?

Apart from it being my birthday, that is!

I can take a number of items off my 'wantables' wish-list pages;

Himself has given me a yarn bowl - I tested it this evening and it works beautifully

It should have a bigger ball of wool in it, and then you lead the end of the ball through the curly whirly bit so the ball happily tumbles around inside the bowl. He's also given me a pink amaryllis bulb which I shall plant up soon, and a Rowan Williams book I've had my eye on.

The offsprings sent flowers and chocolates - looking very fine in front of the fire place

And my father turned up this evening with a huge bunch of lilies. Other bouquets and chocolates have arrived over the course of the day so I am feeling very cherished.

We've had a lovely long phone call with our Canadian friends, and while we chatted I knitted away, so now I have about nine little trees towards my Advent calendar;

It is rather exciting having three relatively normal days in a row - I wonder how long this can last?

Monday 25th November - Another normal day

This could get to be a habit - wait, no - tomorrow is predestined NOT to be normal as himself is off to visit my godmother in the hope of setting up some kind of interim home-care while we wait for social services to swing into action.

So, today - my first piano pupil sent me a message over the weekend to say she wouldn't be coming, so that meant I could enjoy a slower start to the morning. That was excellent.

I started on the tea-lights;

If you get 24 tea-lights and wrap a band of washi tape around each one, you have an Advent Calendar. I have exhausted several rolls of tape, and almost my entire overstock of tea-lights, making four sets; me, and three friends. I fiddled around with them at intervals between pupils and before lunch.

There was a little frisson of high-speed activity when my father (who lives down the road) rang to ask if Himself could come fix his computer which had unexpectedly stopped working. It is easier to get in the car and zip over rather than try and diagnose the fault over the phone - this time it was just matter of changing the batteries keyboard, and checking what might have been started up on the computer while my father was clicking the mouse in frustration... 

After lunch I drove off to a village school a couple of miles away to teach recorders; 'Frosty the Snowman' with the older ones, and 'Jingle Bells' with the younger ones. Typical lessons for the time of year.

Home to teach another handful of pupils, and then supper time.

I've lit all the candles around the fire that have remained unlit since last Christmas - it feels peaceful, anticipatory, a pause before - before whatever is about to happen next. 

My set of Advent tea-lights are all stacked up on the mantel-piece ready for Advent;

and I've knitted another little Christmas tree.

I'm going to hang them all up, one each day, starting on 1st December.

Sunday 24th November 2019 - When did we last have a day like today?

It's only quarter past three in the afternoon, and already today seems to have lasted a long, long, time - in a good way.

It started too early, I have to confess; I did breakfast-in-bed at about 6 am as we both woke rather early. But then, I stayed in bed, and had a second breakfast some hours later;

and even more hours later, as I came downstairs, I took pictures of the Christmas cacti and the yellow orchids on the landing windowsills.

I've wondered about bringing them into the sitting room, but they are doing so well I have left them alone. It is a lovely way to start the day, seeing how many flowers are out.

The weather is a bit manky and grey, but we decided that Fresh Air and A Bit Of A Walk would be a plan. Before we could change our minds and subsided into armchairs we got into the car, and went off to a local National Trust Garden. We had our first Christmas Dinner of the season, for which we were truly thankful (a bit early but we don't care).

Then a short stroll around the arboretum, and up the slop to the fuschia and salvia beds (many still in flower), browse the second hand books, garden plants-for-sale and shop, and emerge without buying anything, but plenty of ideas.

We stopped off in town to buy ordinary things like socks and so forth, and here we are, it's not yet four o'clock and we have peace and quiet and pot-of-tea...   

I have a dim memory that weekends are supposed to be a bit like this?

Saturday 23rd November - Sticks and Stones

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Week
Circular diagrams showing the division of the day and of the week, from a Carolingian ms. (Clm 14456 fol. 71r) of St. Emmeram Abbey

Well, the last week has been an education.

On arrival at the Care/Nursing Home at the beginning of the week - was that really only on Monday? - my Godmother transformed from 'sweet little old lady' mode to - well, you fill in your own description.

Absolutely NOTHING, NO THING was right - from the quality of the light bulbs onwards.

Occasionally she forgot, and was caught having a good moment, but mostly the four days and five nights were a preview of purgatory, during which time no souls were purged and many a sin may have been committed - I do not exclude myself from this statement.

However, this morning, the minute she was in the car and we had set off down the drive, 'sweet little old lady mode' was instantly re-engaged, and by about halfway home was almost completely in place.

The thing is, when she was venting about the awfulness of the place, and snubbing everything and everyone, she was using words and tone of voice and facial expressions of violence to lash out.

Even minutes before departure, as Himslef was loading everything back into our car;

'I'll shut your door  now, as he'll be opening the front door and letting cold air in so I don't want you to get cold' sez I, still trying.

'Oh it doesn't matter, you do whatever, it doesn't matter anyway' was the stroppy and ungracious reply.

And it's no good saying 'Well I didn't mean it' when I point out that she is being hurtful in the way she speaks, and I am hurt.

Now, I haven't written all this just to make my Godmother out to be stroppy and unreasonable old bag. I fully understand that she is frightened of her illness, and her powerlessness, and her frailty, and all she has left to defend herself with is her voice.

This is really a lesson for when I am old and fragile and fearful; that hitting out at everyone with my tongue is more hurtful and damaging than one might think.

She's back in her own home now. Everything unpacked and put back. She hadn't had breakfast at the Care Home before we left, but I made her cereal and hot milk, and a cup of tea when we arrived, to get something hot inside her while the place was warming up.

'Funny thing, this tea, I haven't been able to drink tea for months, but they gave me some and I love it now'.

Later, when we had our sandwiches, I made her a sort of cheese and potato meal using the rejected mashed potato pots I had filled her fridge with, and some Primula cheese squirted over the top 'Luvverly - I can manage this, I didn't dare try it before.' She's scared to eat, in case she can't swallow and the food gets stuck, poor love. That could prove to be much more of a problem than anything else.

www.peaceandcoffee.co.uk

We're back in our own home too. The heating is on, we've had a coffee and sat down for a bit and it's quiet here.

Sticks and stones. Bones. Words.

www.phrases.org.uk

Friday 22nd November - (Un)Typical day

All days are untypical at the moment.

I don't usually teach on a Friday morning, but today I had three 'catch-up' lessons to do because of missing Monday, and therefore pushing Monday afternoon into Tuesday morning, and so Tuesday morning had to be pushed into Friday morning...

I don't usually visit anyone on Friday, but a lunchtime we went round to my Godmother (she couldn't work the television, she despises the ceiling light, no-one comes and helps her - probably because she never presses the call button) - anyway, she's cheering up because we are taking her back tomorrow. I aim to sleep all the way in the car - hopefully Himself won't follow suit as he is driving.

I usually relax out on a Friday afternoon, but today I had three music exam candidates to support, including accompanying one little lad.

Now we are having tea and cake, and going through Her ladyship's heaps of unfiled paperwork.



Then it's drumming. Oh yes, that is typical for a Friday... I'm looking forward to zoning out to the rhythms of Kpanlogo, Kuku, Gahu, Fanti...

Normal service may be resumed soon!




 

Thursday 21st November - easy-peasy music players

I've just splashed out £60 or so on the cutest music player...



How big is it? I suppose if you taped three telephone handsets together - landline ones - that might be about it.

You load mp3 files onto a usb memory stick, put it in the slot on top (that gives a clue to the size) and then turn it on with the big yellow button on the front.

The plan is to give it to my godmother as an early Christmas/late Birthday present, with favourite tracks (Bruch violin concerto for starters) already loaded.

It might work - I have about 60% confidence in her being able to

remember what it is
remember to TURN the button, not PRESS the button for on
remember to keep turning the button to raise the volume

If she doesn't like it, I'm going to have it back!

There are some amazing mp3 players designed for 'seniors'.

How about this one; you literally lift the lid, where it says, to start, and press the black button to skip forwards and close the lid to stop it. The volume controls are concealed in the base - you have to poke them with a pencil to set them.
  


I suspect that the music player will be too late for her to operate, but we can but try.

Wednesday 20th November 2019 - Resilience

I met some of the ladies who live at my Godmother's (rejected) nursing home when I dropped in at lunchtime.

She was sitting at a table with three ladies - let's call them Annie, Betty and Chris - not their real names, obviously. Although all three of them came to the home when they could no longer walk or look after themselves, they were cheerful, pragmatic about their situation, and took pleasure in each other's company.

I watched, listened, and learned about growing old gracefully, accepting one's limitations, making the best of things, being grateful, and finding happiness where you can.

That was a very enjoyable way to spend half hour, and brightened up a busy day.

Do you know what? I felt pretty strong all day! Now for tomorrow....

Isaiah 41:10

SUNDAY               Do not fear
MONDAY             I am with you
TUESDAY            Do not be dismayed
WEDNESDAY     I will strengthen you
THURSDAY         I will help you
FRIDAY               I will uphold you
SATURDAY         I am your God

Tuesday 19th November - never Leopard spots changes a it's

print on sale at John Lewis

She's always been a complete 'homebody' - we all knew that, all the time. And we knew that having to choose between her Home or her Family would be so hard for my godmother.

Even so, we thought that, all things taken into consideration, being close to her only family would outweigh the pull of  her only home. We were wrong.

 Well, we tried, and we are still trying. 

So, in order to avoid her just calling a taxi and arriving back at her old house with whatever she has managed to cram into a bag, we have agreed to take her, and her clothes, and her pictures, and everything else, back to her own home later in the week. The staff have been, and are, amazing, so kind, so attentive, so patient, but they, with all their experience, can recognise an implacable will when they see one. 

She is only barely reconciled to staying there a couple more days, but at least she is now prepared to relax a little - today I tracked her down in the lounge singing her heart out to 'You are my sunshine', 'Top of the World', 'Those were the days' and apparently enjoying herself.

We'll set her GP and the local social services onto the task of providing some kind of care in her home once she's back. 

She's got a couple of days to change her mind... anyone who describes her as having a will of iron has completely underestimated her. That's all I can say.

It's going to be another mp3 player night, being soothed to sleep by the shipping forecast, and then later, if I wake up, being bored to sleep by some droning thing on the radio.  

Monday 18th November - Happy Ever After - but not yet

Hello, everyone.

from www.pixelscrapper.com

Not every day has a happy ending - but a day is only one three-hundred and sixty fiveieth of a year.

We've brought my godmother down south, with her clothes and some of her pictures and so on, and all was going swimmingly, until she saw the admittedly modest room she has been given at the Nursing Home.

Ah well, you can't win every situation every time.

She'll have to stay at least until the weekend, and probably until the next... because if she is serious about going back to her own home we will need to set up a care package as she can't really look after herself - she says so herself - and she will need face up to the fact that we can't manage the 100 mile round trip - one-and-a-half hours each way - every week all through the winter.

Maybe the two weeks will be a time to think things over - and at least the podiatrist might have a chance to have a go at her toenails. There's a silver lining everywhere if you look for it.

Anyway, I have recharged my mp3 player, and loaded it with suitably soporific music to doze away through another disturbed night.


Tomorrow I am meant to be a music teacher - Heaven help me and my pupils! I'll take it easy - time for Christmas carols - why not indeedy

and we will be visiting my God-mother - Heaven help us all!

(Now singing 'O God my help in ages past, my help for years to come....') 

Sunday 17th November - Resting

We got home from visiting my godmother just over an hour ago. It is a long process when she lives 50 miles away;

just over an hour to get there (where was all the traffic today? Oh, Sunday.)

a couple of hours chatting, encouraging her to eat and drink a little more than she might had done,

something like an hour and a half to get home.

It is going to be so much easier when she moves into a Nursing Home just down the road. We will be able to visit more often - daily, even - and just pop in for an hour. I can call by in between schools. If there is a problem with her phone, tv, run out of biscuits, needs some more something-or-others, sorting out the problem won't entail a 100 mile, 3 hour round trip.

Meanwhile, we are here, taking it easy for the rest of the evening. I have made, and we have eaten a small quantity of popcorn coated with a little melted butter and brown sugar, and we are drinking ginger tea. and watching Hercule Poirot solve another murder. Very comforting.

I have wanted a wooden tray like this for a long time. Yesterday I bought one in unfinished wood in The Works for a mere £7.  I'm not planning to paint or varnish it, but have given it three coats of beeswax furniture polish. The surface was a little rough, but I rubbed the last coat in with a soft nylon pot scourer and that gas worked wonders.

Typing this blog has become a little difficult. McCavity has stolen my spot on the settee,

so  I have moved to a different chair. But now Leo has somehow inveigled herself onto my lap.

Typing is getting too awkward; time to stop.