was spotting an over-size, brightly-chequered football rolling and bouncing in a foolish fashion along the gutter of the left-hand lane dual carriageway. "Free at last", it seemed to be saying to itself. Or maybe "Help, help, I've fallen off my car and can't catch it!" Whatever.
It's a fast and furious piece of road and the mid-morning traffic was brisk; I was extremely glad to be in the right-hand lane away from any encounter with it.
I wonder what I would have done if the football had suddenly swerved in front of my car. Would I have driven right at it? I reckon it could have been about 2' 6" in diameter - too big to drive over. Would it have bounced right over my car and then caused conniptions behind me?
Should I have bothered to phone it in to the police? I did anyway - it took ages to get through the various switchboards and "press 1 for emergency..." loops.
I said it was a very large, over-sized football, but the bored voice at the other end probably only heard the word "football" and kindly informed me that they wouldn't really respond to an incident like that.
So I carried on to work and hoped for the best.
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