Monday 27th December - Pause - it's still Christmastide!

First of all, a very big thank you to everyone who took part in 'Pause in Advent' - whether they were contributing, or just reading. Thank you for the comments, and all the insights and ideas you shared. 

My 'Advent Dolls House' calendar, just waiting for Father Christmas and his reindeer.

One of the headteachers I worked for used to have Christmas completely tidied away by the end of Boxing Day, as though it had never happened. Everything boxed and bagged and packed away into the loft, the whole house swept, hoovered and dusted.

I have a feeling I kept some of the decorations up until Candlemas, in February las year. Maybe not the tree, but possibly the lights around the window.  Some of the decorations stay out all year; a crochet Nativity set of characters loll about in a disreputable fashion on one of the bookshelves,

(That donkey looks more than strong enough to carry a vastly pregnant women and all the luggage for 90 miles from Nazareth to Bethlehem on rough roads up and down the mountains)

 a lovely little olive wood Nativity scene always hangs on another wall, and this lovely carved wooden scene stays beside the fireplace.

 Leaving a few Christmas decorations out on purpose is like having a fixed point of reference from one year to the next.

I gave Himself an Advent Calendar as a Christmas Present, full of his favourite marzipan. A couple of years ago we spotted chocolate Advent calendars in the bargain bin when we went to buy milk at our corner shop a few days after Christmas Day. We added them to the basket, feeling very childish, and hugely enjoyed doing a sort of backwards countdown from Christmas, opening a door each day until well into January. It seemed to softened the boundary between 'Christmas' and 'not-Christmas'.

Advent has been busy - not as much as previous years as the catering and social organisations have been so simplified - and now, these days between Christmas and New Year feel like a real Pause. 

A time to reflect, and read, and ponder, and just generally catch up with myself.

I wrote the rest of my Christmas cards on Christmas Day (still two left to write, now I think of it) and they were posted today. 

I hope you are all having a peaceful time, and wish you all the very best for the New Year.

Sunday 19th December - Pause in Advent 4

 

Is this a prayer?

Vespers

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

God bless Mummy. I know that's right.
Wasn't it fun in the bath to-night?
The cold's so cold, and the hot's so hot.
Oh! God bless Daddy - I quite forgot.

If I open my fingers a little bit more,
I can see Nanny's dressing-gown on the door.
It's a beautiful blue, but it hasn't a hood.
Oh! God bless Nanny and make her good.

Mine has a hood, and I lie in bed,
And pull the hood right over my head,
And I shut my eyes, and I curl up small,
And nobody knows that I'm there at all.

Oh! Thank you, God, for a lovely day.
And what was the other I had to say?
I said "Bless Daddy," so what can it be?
Oh! Now I remember it. God bless Me.

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

© by owner. provided at no charge for educational 

A A Milne https://allpoetry.com/poem/8518995-Vespers-by-A.A.-Milne

It is certainly how my prayers tend to go. I'll start with good intentions, I'll try and follow a plan such as 

'T S P' - thanks, sorry, please 

'ACTS' - adoration, confession, thanks, supplication (a bit more grown up, maybe)

but quite soon I'm watching the birds gather on the TV aerial outside my window and wonder how they all know to meet up here today, instead of further down the road, and laugh at the way they jostle for the best position - clearly there is some kind of hierarchy, even for starlings. 

I'll pull myself up and try and get back on track... but that first cup of coffee was so good, I still have the taste in my mouth, shall I have a second, maybe later... oh no, I'm off again... 

Here is the poem set to music on youtube; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rk_YWl68in0

not the tune I was expecting, but somehow haunting and true... a lullaby...

Music of Eternity - Day 7 - Advent Waiting

Advent Waiting - waiting for me to begin to catch up? This is the chapter for Saturday 4th December, and it is now the 14th.

But this is not just learning to 'possess ourselves in patience' while waiting for our turn in some queue. I learned that skill in the dinner queue at primary school, standing in line, only allowed to talk with the people in front or behind, shuffling forward one pace at a time.

I heard that back in 'the old days', in grand houses, footmen were stationed in the corridors outside the main rooms, so that the family need only open the door to summon a servant. 

In some of the smartest restaurants I have ever been to, there are waiters standing around the room apparently doing nothing, but in fact ready to respond to the slightest gesture from one of the diners to fetch some water, another bottle of wine, replace a dropped fork (how embarrassing).

This kind of waiting, as in Psalm 123 v2

Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress; so our eyes wait upon the LORD our God, until that he have mercy upon us.    KJV

is about being still, but alert, attentive, ready to see or hear, and respond.  

Definitely a learned skill.

Footman sleeping
Charles Brague 1871
https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/435603

Sunday 12th December - Pause in Advent 3

 

Last week I prepared my 'Pause in Advent' early - I had chosen the Mary Oliver poem several days before hand. This week... until this morning I had no ideas for the post.

My theme is 'Prayer' - trying to explore what prayer might be, how it does what it does, what does it do?

Today's Advent theme, or one of them, is Joy.

I first came across this poem about twenty years ago - it struck me as overflowing with joy then, and I find that its strength and power has not diminished over the years. Christina Rossetti was deeply spiritual. I originally assumed that 'my love' referred to her lover, but of course, it could equally well be an outpouring of adoration of God.

For years, too, this song sung by Maddy Prior and Steeleye Span, has been one of my favourite 'hymns' (although I change the words for the third section!). I haven't discovered how to embed you tube videos so you've only got the link.

To know know know him
Is to love love love him
Just to see that smile
Makes my life worthwhile
To know know know him
Is to love love love him
And I do, and I do, and I do

Oh, I'll be good to him
I'll bring joy to him
Everyone says there'll come a day
When I'll walk alongside of him
To know know know him
Is to love love love him
And I do, I really do, and I do

Why can't he see
How blind can he be
Someday he'll see
That he was meant for me

To know know know him
Is to love love love him
Just to see that smile
Makes my life worthwhile
To know know know him
Is to love love love him
And I do, I really do, and I do

Friday 10th December - That was the week that was

 An odd kind of week, bitty, hassled, but as the days passed things began to settle.

This is a long post, even by my standards, so maybe wait until you have time for a cup of coffee, perhaps spread it over a couple of days?

The details of the various bits and pieces and loose ends and emails and etc etc that all needed clearing, following up, sorting, completing as a matter of moderate urgency are not important. It's just that, all added together, it became overwhelming. 

However, by the end of Tuesday most of the spinning plates had managed to land without out any serious smashes, and we are back to the day-to-day of what passes for normal in my life.

I have half-decorated the Christmas Tree - seriously - because I can only reach one side of it. The other  side is too close to the window. Then I hit upon the solution - I decorated the side I could reach, and we rotated the tree through 180 degrees. It looks find from outside... here is a photograph that I took when it was only partway rotated.

 I'm sure I will get round to finishing it soon, maybe this weekend.

In the process of rotating the tree, a glass of water upset itself all over the floor (I was NOWHERE near it, honestly). Fortunately he glass didn't break, and fortunately the water went over where we hoovered, so our wooden floor is looking a lot cleaner and brighter after using this as an opportunity to give that part of the floor a good wash.

McCavity the cat has provided us with another opportunity to wash a little more of the sitting room floor (it is well overdue!). She has lived for all of her 18 years and 8 months without getting her ear slit in a fight, but we tracked a trail of small drops of blood to where she was sitting in a rather dishevelled heap on her cushion. The injury to her ear is very slight and I can't find any other narks or bites. I think her thick fluffy coat saved her from worse. I expect the other cat is now suffering from furballs.

I don't think we will wash the rest of the floor any time soon.

Knitting news; 

The baby hat is off the needles and ready to be posted along with the tea cosy.

so I allowed myself to make a start on the 'experimental' jumper. I'm following Elizabeth Zimmermann knitting instructions - you can't call it a pattern exactly - 'I wouldn't dream of telling you which wool, what size needles, what tension you require or how many stitches to cast on' she says chattily in the book - so you do a swatch or sample, see what you get, and then start on the arithmetic. Judging by my experience so far, this wool is very easy to rip back, pick up stitches and re-knit if things go wrong... that's it, sort of greeny-blue colour. It is knitted 'in the round', so you join your stitches into a circle and just knit round and round and round... until you discover that you DID have a twist in the stitches when you joined them in spite of checking everything about three times. There is no solution to this problem - once you have finished your temper tantrum you have to calmly rip it back, pick up the stitches and then just knit round and round and round and round...  

The red-blue knitting is the Advent cowl knit-a-long. Just eight rows each day, so I am managing to keep up at the moment.

 The slow cooker is in use now. I have made a great Vat of Red Cabbage which has been divided into portions and put in the freezer, all except one portion which became an emergency lunchtime vegetable when the beans destined for our lunch threw themselves into the catfood plates rather than land on our plates to be eaten. Oh alright, we dropped them when we lifted the bowl out of the microwave. No cats or people were hurt in the accident. (And we didn't stop to wash the kitchen floor!)

not cooked yet

I used the word food processor to slice the cabbage and the onions and the apple. It was such good fun that I sliced up the rest of the onions, three carrots and the white cabbage as well.

I used quite a lot of the onions and carrot when I used the crockpot again for a sort of minced beef base - which has also been portions and frozen. Where did all this energy come from? It won't last, but as long as we don't have tears before bedtime everything will be fine. Although we have run out of freezer space at the moment.

Dress Day 98

Now that the end is so close, I find that I am dropping bits of biscuit or discovering crumbs of Advent chocolate melted onto it the whole time. This dress is in for the shock of its life after the weekend. 

Sunday 5th December - More unexpected consequences

 Such as changing the sheets on the bed today resulted in me discovering my missing sock tucked into a fold of the fitted sheet... 

presumably it hid itself there when it was in the washing machine, and stayed there while the sheet was hanging over the spare room door to dry, 

clinging to its hidey-hole while I folded the sheet and jammed it into the airing cupboard... dozing in the warmth and darkness until rudely tipped out when we used that sheet to make the bed.

Such as making rice pudding in the microwave because we were running over with spare milk, taking my eyes off the bowl so that in two seconds the milk al,l over-flowed and now the microwave was running in milk...

and as we cleaned it out it became apparent that the bearing in the bit that turns the turn-table is completely worn out and so ordering a new microwave (the old one is a ripe old age)...

Rice Pudding

1 tablespoon of pudding rice

1 tablespoon (not rounded) of soft brown sugar

1 pint of milk

A bay leaf and a couple of cardamom pods

All placed into a suitable receptacle and brought to the boil, then simmered until it is not quite as thick as you think it ought to be because it will thicken as it cools. This takes maybe 30 mins, and you should stir the mix quite frequently to stop it sticking and stop that horrible skin forming. Wait, you LIKE the skin?   

This makes enough for 4 portions - no, not really. Probably 4 'yogurt pot sized' portions. So He had a large portion, and I had a small one, and there was a small one left over for the next day. 

The best rice puddings were made in the slow cooker, we remembered. This had been banished to the cupboard under the stairs some years ago, but was retrievable, cleanable, and soon made ready for use. But where to put it?

The consequence - plastic storage containers sorted, and a new home found for them, all corralled into suitable canvas bag and put in the broom cupboard, the bread maker repositioned and cookery books reorganised. 

We shall bring it back into use next week.

That's quite enough for today - when the new microwave arrives on Monday the opposite side of the kitchen will have its chance to be cleaned and sorted...

Dress day 93. Just one week left of the 100 day challenge.

     

Sunday 5th December - Music of Eternity Day 6

 

Your Kingdom Come

Oh yes please - in the light of the news this week, we so need the 'Kingdom of God' to prevail, and not the 'Messy Muddle of Humankind'.

But wait - what is this Kingdom that we are asking for?

Well, it is like this, or like that. Or, here's another example...

We don't know. We can't know, because we don't have the vocabulary. I've got a basic school-leaver's knowledge of French - at least, what I remember from mumble mumble years ago, but not enough to teach music, or describe how to make pastry, or explain my views on Brexit  - I could express my opinion in French, but not explain it. Far less could I discuss 'the Kingdom of God'.

I remember the scene in C S Lewis 'The Silver Chair', where Eustace and Jill are Puddle-glum, and - what was the dwarf's name? - were trying to explain what the sun is to the Witch holding them and Prince Caspian prisoner in the underworld. Every description was mocked and ridiculed, because they could only say 'it is like warmth from the fire, only steadier and stronger' or 'like the lantern, but better and brighter'.

So we can't make the Kingdom happen on Earth by our own efforts; but  we can trust God to know the best way to bring it about. (Hint; pray, listen to God, read the suggestions and commands in the Bible!)

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Kingdom_of_God

     

Saturday 4th December - Advent Calendars and Knitting

 The Advent calendars are properly on the go now;

The little drawers on these two are filled with chocolates (the tree shaped one) or either chocolates or exotic teas (the Father Christmas one)

This one comes out every year; the pockets contain baubles or glass ornaments which are transferred day by day to the tree. I sewed gold buttons on the tree for the decorations to hang from. 

And the Advent candles. The tea light is actually yesterdays; I am catching up... already...

Oh, and another Advent thing; the multicoloured red and blue piece of knitting is this a free knit-along pattern from buttercup miniatures . The patter can be made in 'proper yarn' and will result in a cowl, or in very very fine crochet cotton to make a tiny poncho for a 1/12th or 1/6th  size doll. Do have a look at the marvellous creations on the website! 

 The blue-green knitting with a row of stars is a baby hat - I'm hoping it won't be too enormous or too small for some friend's first grandchild. I don't know the age or sex of the baby. Oh well - it can always be given to someone else. I'm getting pleasure enough from just the making of it.

The cowl led to one of those 'one thing leads to another' moments yesterday. I was laboriously 'tinking' a row of darker blue stitches in poor light when himself noticed that the working light I have by my seat doesn't actually shine on my work. So I paused in my labours while he started moving things in order to get to the light

'My word, look at all that dust and crumbs and stuff on the floor' - so we hoovered the corner that was now disgracefully visible.

'Goodness, look at all the dust behind the settee' - horribly apparent after moving it forward to reposition the lamp. More hoovering ensued.

Meanwhile I removed myself from the scene of activity where I was rather in the way and polished my boots which has been waiting attention for some weeks.

Inside was a ball of Shetland wool! I did wonder where it had disappeared to.

Cleaning out the cat beds was also a task that had been on the list for too long, and was well overdue.

Before

and after. Very overdue!

That was, all in all, a good morning's work. We celebrated with coffee and Advent chocolates.       

Sunday 5th December 2021 - Pause in Advent 2

 

Still on the subject of prayer, here's a Mary Oliver Poem, the second one in this book 

which was a birthday present from my daughter.

I Happened To Be Standing

I don't know where prayers go,

    or what they do.

Do cats pray, while they sleep

    half-asleep in the sun?

Does the opossum pray as it

    crosses the street?

The sunflowers? The old black oak

    growing older every year?

I know I can walk through the world,

    along the shore or under the trees,

with my mind filled with things

    of little importance, in full

self-attendance. A condition I can't really 

    call being alive.

Is a prayer a gift, or a petition,

    or does it matter?

The sunflowers blaze, maybe that's their way.

Maybe the cats are sound asleep. Maybe not.

While I was thinking this I happened to be standing

just outside my door, with my notebook open,

which is the way I begin every morning.

Then a wren in the privet began to sing.

He was positively drenched in enthusiasm,

I don't know why. And yet, why not.

I wouldn't persuade you from whatever you believe

or whatever you don't. That's your business.

But I thought, of the wren's singing, what could this be

    if it isn't a prayer?

So I just listened, my pen in the air.

Action - stand outside in the mornings for a few minutes, and listen.

I discovered these tiles in the loft; they were a Christmas present from my Uncle and Aunt back in 1977! 
 

Thursday 2nd December - Music of Eternity Day 5

 Chapter Heading; 'Father, hallowed be Your Name'

If Advent is about awakening to God's Eternal Action - around us and within us - our natural response after encountering God will be to worship. Christ taught us the Lord's Prayer to recognise our privileged relationship with the God who is our Father. So our prayers open not with petition but with praise and adoration as we seek to enter into the deepest meaning of much-loved and familiar words. Evelyn [Underhill - check the subtitle of the book!] reminds us that self-interest dries up adoration and we need to guard against the poison of 'spiritual egoism'

Tricky, this - I can start off with praise and adoration, but it always seems to me that I praise God, and thanking Him and adoring Him not because 'He Is', but because of what He has done, and is doing, for us - everyone, me, my friends and my family - oops, I seem to have arrived upon the scene already, before the first sentence of this paragraph has ended, and before I reach the finish I will have started asking Him to intervene on behalf of everyone, my family and friends, and, of course, not forgetting, Me!

OK, back to the start - God the Creator of all things, who inspires, loves us (careful...) who makes all these colours I see around me, loves us, no, here I are again....

If you have only as little as half an hour to give each morning to your private prayer...spend half that time in such adoration... its neglect is responsible for much lack of spiritual depth... we must become, and keep, spiritually fit.

Half an hour! But if I don't get a move on I won't have time for a bath and I need to be ready by such and such a time because....

Perhaps, if I can only manage to do the 'praise and adoration' bit for a minute or two at a time, would it be ok if I split this into about ten really short 'Hi Intensity 'spiritual workouts' a day? That's actually doable - there is so much to see, taste, hear, pause over, before moving on to the next thing.

R S Thomas has a suggestion along these lines;

A Day in Autumn

It will not always be like this,

The air windless, a few last

Leaves adding their decoration

To the trees’ shoulders, braiding the cuffs

Of the boughs with gold; a bird preening

 

In the lawn’s mirror. Having looked up

From the day’s chores, pause a minute,

Let the mind take its photograph

Of the bright scene, something to wear

Against the heart in the long cold

Thursday 2nd December - Music of Eternity Day - Day 4

 'Wakening to God's Eternal Action' is the chapter heading.

The moment when we become aware of God's creative action, able to respond or resist, is when our conscious spiritual life begins.

I'm coming to the conclusion that this book is so full, so rich, so.... so much to take on board that it is getting beyond me. Like reading one of Paul's epistles when he starts getting all convoluted. 

I could spend fifteen minutes unpacking one of these sentences, and taking on several pages of them is a day's work. I don't have the stamina - concentration - focus - call it what you will, to read complex sentences full of Deep and Significant Words. 

However I found the 'fast food take-away', to carry around with me as I charge through the day;

The lesson of Christianity is what can be done with suffering, when it's met with self-oblivious courage and love.    

This reminds me of the heroism of the Catholic priest, Maximillian Kolbe in Second World War, when he took the place of someone else, a stranger, condemned to death in one of the infamous concentration camps.

Finally,

The true splendour and heart-searching beauty of the Divine Charity is not seen in those cosmic energies that dazzle and confound us; but in the transcendent power that stoops to an intimate, cherishing love - the grave, steadfast Divine action, sometimes painful, sometimes gentle, on the small unfinished soul.

From Matthew's Gospel, chapter 5; 

'Be ye perfect, even as your heavenly Father which is in heaven is perfect' (King James Version)  I am reminded of Kathleen Norris in 'Amazing Grace' unpacking the Hebrew word translated as 'perfect' also having the meaning of 'mature', 'ripe' - which soften and round out the more uncompromising sound of 'perfect'. 

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