Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom,
lead thou me on!
The night
is dark, and I am far from home;
lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do
not ask to see
the distant scene; one step enough for me.
I was not
ever thus, nor prayed that thou
shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose
and see my path; but now
lead thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and,
spite of fears,
pride ruled my will: remember not past years!
So long
thy power hath blessed me, sure it still
will lead me on.
O'er moor and
fen, o'er crag and torrent, till
the night is gone,
And with the morn
those angel faces smile,
which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!
Words: John Henry Newman, 1833
Music: Alberta, Lux Benigna, Sandon
Meter: 10 4 10 4 10 10
This rather gloomy hymn is a favourite from boarding school days. We sang it to "Alberta"; you can hear the tune played by a rather unlikely looking organist here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkKLeZtRyJ8,
Sometimes, for example, when faced by trying to get ready for Christmas in a few days time, the distant scene is an impossibility, and taking life one step at a time is the only way.
Regular readers will know that I have an on-going battle with the dining room table. Well, right now, the dining room (and, to be totally truthful, our bedroom, and the kitchen, in fact, the whole house) is, to be short and to the point, a mess.
The to-do list is bursting out of its neat columns, items are adding themselves faster than I can tick them off.
So I'll give it all up as a bad job for today, and start again tomorrow. One step at a time. Till "the night is gone".
Friday, 21 December 2012
Friday 21st December - Less is more
I must admit that I cheated yesterday; I taught the same lesson three times, first to the lower juniors, then to the infants, and finally to the upper juniors, with slight variations;
the action/game song "My hat it has three corners",
http://www.themusicjungle.co.uk/live/2011/08/19/my-hat-it-has-three-corners-venetian-carnival/
then listen to Ronald Binge's "Venetian Carnival" (you can hear it here)
http://www.prestoclassical.co.uk/w/194111
and finally illustrate the story in the music; the carnival, party, brass band, dancing, fireworks, "fill the page with lots of colour and excitement, and yes, you may use Felt Tips".
The same lesson worked very well for each age group - they all enjoyed the singing game, especially when I added a competitive element "if you sing the word that we are leaving out, YOU are out and have to sit down".
"Colouring-in-to-music" is the most despised of all music lessons in the ofsted report on teaching music in schools. Hopefully I would have escaped censure by including "singing", "internalising", "listening with attention to detail", "using expressive language to describe music ideas", "aural recognition", before "responding creatively to music" - i e colouring to music - at the end...
It was about all the children were fit for at the end of a very, very long term, and about all that I was fit for as well!
There comes a point where you have to cut yourself some slack. Enough will be an ample sufficiency. We are not going to be able to manage the whole home-made, Nigella-Delia-Heston Christmas this year; still, I have bought a turkey, and all kinds of goodies from the supermarket (it was almost empty at 5pm last night - hurrah!) and It Will Be Great. Like Patrick Stewart says as Captain Picard in Startrek, "Make it so".
I have no idea what kind of a Christmas occasion they will manage at the hospital, but we will do our best, and make the best of it. I have no doubt that there will be tears and laughter, smiles and sadness, but we will have a Merry Time.
As my mother said, oh, almost a month ago now, "we have been so very lucky".
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Tuesday 19th December - EXPLOSION!
My husband tells the story of what happened, many, many years ago when they let one of those "boil-in-the-tin" chocolate sponge puddings boil dry in a friend's kitchen.
Apparently it sprayed a fine dusting of chocolate sponge all over everywhere. Things were worse than they might have been, because it was an old-fashioned farmhouse kitchen, with an old-fashioned Oxford airer, fully loaded with clean washing, over the old-fashioned Aga.
My father tells the story of what happened, many, many years ago, when they decided to make beef stew with dumplings in the pressure cooker.
Apparently the dumplings combined themselves into a giant dumpling, filling every available space inside the cooker, including the safety valve, until finally everything gave way and the kitchen was coated in dumpling-ness.

I can now add a new story; what happens when you don't drink your raspberry and cranberry juice drink which you bought last week sometime,
and carried around in your backpack all week,
and then shake up to mix the contents,
before deciding NOT to drink it after all,
and putting it, unopened, in the kitchen sink. They say that a picture contains a thousand words...
but this only gives half the picture. The rest of the fermented slurry was on the floor, on the cupboards behind me, on the back door to the right of the window, on the door to the hall to the left of the window, in the fruit basket; in short, everywhere. There were no witnesses, as the explosion was sudden and silent.
It didn't take that long to clear up as the splodges were still liquid. The person with the longest arms (that let me off) dealt with it. The tricky bit was finding the last splodge. There's always another last splodge after you thought you've mopped the last splodge.
Pressure builds up, and some kind of slow release system is an important part of many safety systems. We are all feeling pressured in the family at the moment. My mother is desperate to be better. Not being able to fend for herself, and being reliant on the nurses for everything is proving frustrating and depressing in equal measures. And the rest of the family is also feeling pressure; organising who is visiting when, remembering clean clothes, thinking of things to take in, like paper handkerchiefs, hand cream, delicious snacks, magazines...
We are all responding to the pressure in different ways. I have been leaving bits and pieces in schools all over the county; my speaker system is at one school and I might manage to remember it tomorrow. Or not. A warm and welcoming staffroom in a village school ten miles away is harbouring, all unawares, my half-eaten lunch in a lunch bag. I really, really hope there was no meat or banana in it, as I'm not due at that school until 15th January. I do know that I had soup in one flask, and porridge in another flask for lunch that day .....
| Pressure as exerted by particle collisions inside a closed container, from Wikipedia article on pressure |
Emotional fragility, tiredness, crabbiness, forgetfulness - all these have to be coped with, kept under control during visits, and then released in a safe space, at a safe time, in a safe way. It's no good trying to keep everything contained all the time.
We mopped up the raspberry and cranberry juice with paper towels, and the evidence is almost gone - just a few suspiciously extra-clean patches on the ceiling. Our individual pressure releases can mostly be mopped up too, leaving a few suspiciously bright remarks,
some over-cheerful smiles, slightly shiny eyes.
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
Wednesday 12/12/12 - When I grow up...
When I grow up - which means when I no longer spend all my days teaching music - when means that I AM a grown up for 13 weeks of the year, come to think of it (two weeks at Christmas, two weeks at Easter, six weeks in the summer, and the three half terms in between) - when I grow up, I'm going to spend all my time painting the sky.
Oh ha ha, yeah, I heard the one about a long enough ladder yesterday. You are too late.
The skies are a feature of the daily roistering through the countryside from one school to the next. I am constantly distracted by wondering how I would go about recreating the effect of clouds, shading, colours, tree silhouettes...
Inks, probably, for the intense blues of late dusk. Indian ink for the silhouettes of the trees, washed over with every shade of blue garnets. I love Jan Pienkowski's illustrations:
Watercolours for grey clouds. There is an amazing gif of a bird drawing created from water and ink. http://salt4life.tumblr.com/post/22692302005/i-make-gifs (I found it courtesy of JohntheLutheran's tumblr site.)

I WANT to do this! The clouds were exactly like this a few days ago, not like birds, OBVIOUSLY but pale at the top and heavy with rain at the bottom edge.
Water colour pencils for early morning skies; pinks, blues, even a touch of yellow; all pale, delicate pastels. This kind of thing, but the colours more connected, less pencil-stroky. I hope Vivienb (whoever she is) won't mind me copying it here...
I'm going to have to follow her blog; http://vivienb.blogspot.co.uk/
just check out these cats: http://vivienb.blogspot.co.uk/p/cats.html
Anyway, back on topic...
Acrylics for the hot deep blue skies with bright white clouds in Summer? Can't remember. Summer was so long ago.
The only problem is that it will take time... time... and patience.
Patience is what we will all need - my mother, the staff, us family... She is working away at getting better; a brace to straighten her knee, exercises, enduring sitting in a chair, coping with The Hoist, a lifty thing that is used to swing patients in and out of bed. We tried playing patience the other night; I dealt the cards, and she shifted them about, or indicated what needed to be moved where. I suppose that's a mini-step on the road to returning to the bridge club?
Oh ha ha, yeah, I heard the one about a long enough ladder yesterday. You are too late.
The skies are a feature of the daily roistering through the countryside from one school to the next. I am constantly distracted by wondering how I would go about recreating the effect of clouds, shading, colours, tree silhouettes...
Inks, probably, for the intense blues of late dusk. Indian ink for the silhouettes of the trees, washed over with every shade of blue garnets. I love Jan Pienkowski's illustrations:
| http://www.janpienkowski.com/books/silhouette/1001/1001nights.htm |
Watercolours for grey clouds. There is an amazing gif of a bird drawing created from water and ink. http://salt4life.tumblr.com/post/22692302005/i-make-gifs (I found it courtesy of JohntheLutheran's tumblr site.)
I WANT to do this! The clouds were exactly like this a few days ago, not like birds, OBVIOUSLY but pale at the top and heavy with rain at the bottom edge.
Water colour pencils for early morning skies; pinks, blues, even a touch of yellow; all pale, delicate pastels. This kind of thing, but the colours more connected, less pencil-stroky. I hope Vivienb (whoever she is) won't mind me copying it here...
![]() |
| http://vivienb.blogspot.co.uk/2009/05/sennen-cove-cornwall-dawn-coloured.html |
just check out these cats: http://vivienb.blogspot.co.uk/p/cats.html
Anyway, back on topic...
Acrylics for the hot deep blue skies with bright white clouds in Summer? Can't remember. Summer was so long ago.
The only problem is that it will take time... time... and patience.
Patience is what we will all need - my mother, the staff, us family... She is working away at getting better; a brace to straighten her knee, exercises, enduring sitting in a chair, coping with The Hoist, a lifty thing that is used to swing patients in and out of bed. We tried playing patience the other night; I dealt the cards, and she shifted them about, or indicated what needed to be moved where. I suppose that's a mini-step on the road to returning to the bridge club?
Monday, 10 December 2012
Monday 10th December - a hazelnut in the hand
This little hazelnut lives in the pocket of the jacket I wear most days. Normally, I never see it, never take it out, but today I had a look, and found that it has become polished to a gentle gleaming shine all over.
I keep it in my pocket because of Julian of Norwich, and her famous "showings"
| St. Julian, as depicted in the church of SS Andrew and Mary, Langham, Norfolk. from wikipedia |
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
She says it three times, so it must be true......
It reminds me of "The Hunting of the Snark" by Lewis Carroll, which begins
``Just the place for a Snark!'' the Bellman cried,
You can read the whole poem here: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173165. Somewhere in the house we have "The Annotated Snark" with copious footnotes by Martin Gardner. I have taken the illustrations from the wikipedia entry which is also full of information. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hunting_of_the_Snark
A bit irreverent, maybe, to swap between a nonsense poem and mystical writings. Richard Dawkins would be full of an unholy glee at this juxtaposition of sacredness and insanity.
Where does the hazelnut come into it? Here is another paragraph from Julian of Norwich:
He is oure clothing, that for love wrappeth us and windeth us, halseth us and all becloseth us, hangeth about us for tender love, that he may never leeve us. And so in this sight I saw that he is all thing that is good, as to my understanding”
And in this, shewed me a little thing the quantity of an haselnot, lying in the palme of my hand as me semide, and it was as rounde as any balle. I looked theran with the eye of my understanding, and thought: ‘What may this be?’ And it was answered generally thus: ‘It is all that is made.’ I marvayled how it might laste, for methought it might sodenly have fallen to nought for littlenes. And I was answered in my understanding: ‘It lasteth and ever shall, for God loveth it. And so hath all thing being by the love of God.’
-Julian of Norwich (1343-1416), A Revevlation of Love 5.13
My mother has made it to the stroke rehabilitation ward. It is a scary place to be, at first; uprooted from the tender care of the nurses that she has made friends with, and thrust among strangers, nurses and patients, in a strange place with different colour scheme, different lighting levels, different routine, different visiting hours. The reality of rehabilitation starts today. I'm sure that the care will be just are tender, just as professional, but from now on they will be doing everything it takes to get her left side mobile again. It is going to hurt, mentally and physically.
It is going to take mental and physical strength and courage.
I'll say it three times, so it must be true. All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
And, after all, the Snark was a Boojum, you see.
Friday, 7 December 2012
Friday 7th November - Paradise Stomp
Today was music exam day for 15 children. Well, for many more than 15, but that was the number that I was scheduled to accompany.
Mostly they were doing their first ever exams; a flock of flautists all negotiating the intricacies of "Greensleeves" and "Hot Chilli"; a clutch of clarinetists puffing through "Andante" and "Funeral March" and a - well, a group of violinists wrestling with "Mattachins", "Daisy Bell" and "Dvorak" - not the composer, but a national dance. I hadn't thought of Dvorak being the name of a dance - like having the surname "March" or "Round", maybe.
I might be playing the accompaniment for the same piece over and over again, but each candidate plays it differently. Mostly they get the timing and the notes right, but you have to be alert for idiosyncrasies. One of the "Daisy Bell" players had no sense of three-beats-in-a-bar, so I had to be ready to accompany whatever she was playing at whatever moment she decided to play it. I needed a mixture of lightning reflexes and telepathic anticipation of what would happen next.
In between, I accompanied some more advanced players, with accompaniments that are far more taxing. One was playing a contemporary piece called "Paradise Stomp" which is demanding for both player and accompanist. I'm not sure what happened at the bottom of the third page. I'm fairly certain that in the stress of the moment she cut short a couple of top notes but I had my too hands full, literally, to be sure. Further chaos ensued throughout page 4 as we tried to get back together. I had her part written above my music, and every time I thought I knew where she had got to, everything changed and I had to search again, while continuing to keep the rhythm and play something approximating to the right notes. We did manage to find each other, and stick together, for the final page.
I have no idea what the examiner thought of our rendition (have you ever noticed that the word "render" has two meanings; to give, and also to tear into pieces?). I smiled encouragingly as I left the room, and hoped for the best.
I found that piece going round and round in my head when I was in that half-awake, half-asleep state the next evening and morning.
We had good news; my mother has been transferred to the stroke rehab ward in a hospital about 10 miles closer to our home. The round trip of 40 miles through tangled traffic has been very taxing, and the shorter journey time will be most welcome.
Mostly they were doing their first ever exams; a flock of flautists all negotiating the intricacies of "Greensleeves" and "Hot Chilli"; a clutch of clarinetists puffing through "Andante" and "Funeral March" and a - well, a group of violinists wrestling with "Mattachins", "Daisy Bell" and "Dvorak" - not the composer, but a national dance. I hadn't thought of Dvorak being the name of a dance - like having the surname "March" or "Round", maybe.
I might be playing the accompaniment for the same piece over and over again, but each candidate plays it differently. Mostly they get the timing and the notes right, but you have to be alert for idiosyncrasies. One of the "Daisy Bell" players had no sense of three-beats-in-a-bar, so I had to be ready to accompany whatever she was playing at whatever moment she decided to play it. I needed a mixture of lightning reflexes and telepathic anticipation of what would happen next.
In between, I accompanied some more advanced players, with accompaniments that are far more taxing. One was playing a contemporary piece called "Paradise Stomp" which is demanding for both player and accompanist. I'm not sure what happened at the bottom of the third page. I'm fairly certain that in the stress of the moment she cut short a couple of top notes but I had my too hands full, literally, to be sure. Further chaos ensued throughout page 4 as we tried to get back together. I had her part written above my music, and every time I thought I knew where she had got to, everything changed and I had to search again, while continuing to keep the rhythm and play something approximating to the right notes. We did manage to find each other, and stick together, for the final page.
I have no idea what the examiner thought of our rendition (have you ever noticed that the word "render" has two meanings; to give, and also to tear into pieces?). I smiled encouragingly as I left the room, and hoped for the best.
I found that piece going round and round in my head when I was in that half-awake, half-asleep state the next evening and morning.
We had good news; my mother has been transferred to the stroke rehab ward in a hospital about 10 miles closer to our home. The round trip of 40 miles through tangled traffic has been very taxing, and the shorter journey time will be most welcome.
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