Palm Sunday - The First Cut

Everyone else round our way has already done several cuts. We nearly didn't move in, way back in 1984, as all the neighbour's gardens were meticulously tended marvels of knife-edge borders, finely-tilled flower beds filled with mathematically ordered ranks and files of bedding plants. I just knew we would lower the tone.

Still, petrol shortages notwithstanding, the lawn-mower was dragged out from the depths of the garage and set to work.

And work it did - sort of. The front and back look a lot tidier now. The only long grass left is the couch grass growing in the flower beds, but then, ornamental grasses are so very on-trend, don't you think? We have also decided that the plantains add an artistic, sculpural, quality to the texture of the lawn, so will be allowing them to remain.

I observed all this activity from the comfort of the sitting room, cocooned from the drone of the mower by four walls.

After a bit he came in (mowing is a man's job, in my view), rather hot and bothered, and sat down at the computer. A few moments passed in peace and quiet. Then, without warning, the computer started to make lawn-mower noises. This got my attention; I hadn't noticed any lawn mowers indoors before.

It appears that you can listen to recordings of sick and sad lawn mowers on your computer to try and work out what they need to make them better;
   http://www.briggsandstratton.com/support/frequently-asked-questions/Why%20is%20my%20new%20engine%20hunting%20and%20surging/

Here's a thought; we could do that with on the NHS direct website; recordings of different types of coughs, or clicky knees, or gurgling stomachs, as an aid to diagnosis....