(i) Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Rather depends on where in the world this Summer's day is. I will compare Best Beloved to Midsummer in the Land of the Midnight Sun (without the inconvenience of the midges which plague those parts of the hemisphere)
(ii) How many roads must a man walk down?
Unfortunately, for every "down", there always seems to be an "up". Or maybe two "ups" if you started on the top of the hill and want to get back there again. I'm warming to the idea of moving to Holland, where there is neither "up" nor "down". Or halfway up or halfway down, for that matter.
(iii) How long is a piece of string?
It's either too long, or not long enough. Always.
(iv) Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
This is a tough one. I think it is quite important to keep the custard in the fridge once it has been opened.
(v) Why did the chicken cross the road?
ALL these answers have been used up in the Great British Menu series on BBC. The judges thought the road-kill chicken platter involving cold chicken and beetroot was excellent.
(vi) Who is the fairest of them all?
We've developed a family tradition for ensuring that the final division of the last slice of pudding is always fair; because one person cuts the slice, and the others choose which one they pick. Seems to work very well.
(vii) What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
Invite him to the party - he's bound to liven things up a bit.
(viii) To be or not to be?Would this be easier to solve if expressed mathematically? 2b or not 2b ?
(ix) How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood?
Just as much wood as a wood-chuck would chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood. Obviously.
(x) Where did you get that hat?
Oxfam. Or do you mean the one I knitted for myself?
(xi) What's in a name?
Letters. It's getting late.