Wednesday 18th September - "There for you"; "Here for me"

There's a lot of time and space and approval to the concept of being "There" for people.

"You were always there for me" they say.

We've been everywhere but "here for us" for months and months and months it seems, allbeit for very good reasons.

This week, I have consciously been "here" for "me".

I accomplished three things for me, which, though small, have made an enormous difference to my own well-being. Nothing special or exciting, just things that have been hanging over my head for too long.

I cleaned the bathroom and loo with an efficiency and attention to detail, including polishing the tiles, which has been long, long delayed. That took a good long hour.

I tackled the dining room table again, getting it down to just a couple of "current affairs" piles. Another hour or so.

 

I even sat at the table to eat my lunch yesterday - how about that!

Finally, I dealt with the kitchen windowsill. It has been getting me down every time I did any cooking, or washing up, or anything else, for ages. The windowsill needed clearing and cleaning, the glass was filthy, and the plants needed tidying and chucking out.

 

Before I could start on the windowsill I needed to unload and reload the dishwasher, and put away the food storage boxes stacked on the draining board, washed up from packed lunches and frozen suppers. 

I did it all straight after breakfast, while I was still in my dressing gown. Hopefully no-one saw me putting out the recycling, and trekking down to the wormery in the garden with the veg peelings. Afterwards I just had time for a bath before setting off to work. I lay there enjoying the gleaming tiles and shiny taps and feeling very pleased with what I had achieved.

Getting all these things done was only possible, because I chose NOT to be "there" for anyone for a couple of days. I have to say that I felt a few guilty twinges at not responding to suggestions, spoken or otherwise, from various people that we should meet up in my free mornings. But I feel so much better for having cleared some of the flotsam and jetsam from my own life.

Lying in the bath, I realised that I can only be "there" for others if I am still "here" for me.

I've still got a lot to do in our house to clear the clutter and defeat the dust, but making a start has really made an improvement in my own state of happiness. A little bit of - "unavailability" - has made a big difference.