"You were always there for me" they say.
We've been everywhere but "here for us" for months and months and months it seems, allbeit for very good reasons.
This week, I have consciously been "here" for "me".
I accomplished three things for me, which, though small, have made an enormous difference to my own well-being. Nothing special or exciting, just things that have been hanging over my head for too long.
I cleaned the bathroom and loo with an efficiency and attention to detail, including polishing the tiles, which has been long, long delayed. That took a good long hour.
I tackled the dining room table again, getting it down to just a couple of "current affairs" piles. Another hour or so.
I even sat at the table to eat my lunch yesterday - how about that!
Finally, I dealt with the kitchen windowsill. It has been getting me down every time I did any cooking, or washing up, or anything else, for ages. The windowsill needed clearing and cleaning, the glass was filthy, and the plants needed tidying and chucking out.
Before I could start on the windowsill I needed to unload and reload the dishwasher, and put away the food storage boxes stacked on the draining board, washed up from packed lunches and frozen suppers.
I did it all straight after breakfast, while I was still in my dressing gown. Hopefully no-one saw me putting out the recycling, and trekking down to the wormery in the garden with the veg peelings. Afterwards I just had time for a bath before setting off to work. I lay there enjoying the gleaming tiles and shiny taps and feeling very pleased with what I had achieved.
Getting all these things done was only possible, because I chose NOT to be "there" for anyone for a couple of days. I have to say that I felt a few guilty twinges at not responding to suggestions, spoken or otherwise, from various people that we should meet up in my free mornings. But I feel so much better for having cleared some of the flotsam and jetsam from my own life.
Lying in the bath, I realised that I can only be "there" for others if I am still "here" for me.
I've still got a lot to do in our house to clear the clutter and defeat the dust, but making a start has really made an improvement in my own state of happiness. A little bit of - "unavailability" - has made a big difference.