I wanted to have a bath yesterday morning but changed my mind as a humungous spider was lurking in a fine mesh of cobwebs dangling from the ceiling.
So I stayed dirty.
I haven't really recovered from that day, ooh, fifteen or more years ago, when I did my best to disappear a mighty monster down the plughole before having a bath. Success!? No. It crawled out of the overflow about five minutes into my relaxing soak. The tidal wave as I performed yogic flying (I had always thought that was a myth) and abandoned the tub washed it into the bath and I'm afraid that was that.
This evening, another "all creatures GREAT rather than small" was lying on wait on the stairs. I'm slightly braver now, and trapped it in the plastic box we keep at the ready.
Look away now if you don't want to see what I was dealing with... oh. too late. Well, I did warn you at the top of this post.
I flung it out of the font door and slammed the door shut as it galloped back towards me.
And the spider over the bath? Turned out it was dead. I expect one of the other monsters ate it.
So I am clean again ('cos it's Sunday today).