Saturday 2nd September - brilliant day (so far)

This morning began with a morning meet up at our favourite farm shop cafe with son and daughter. Husand and they had their usual waffles, bacon and maple syrup, I had what is becoming my usual; avocado on sour dough toast. (Guess who was NOT plagued by wasps?)

After a rather ominous start to the day, weather-wise, the sun came out, so we walked over to the picnic area and played a board game in the sun - oh joy - we haven't met up for a family games night since the beginning of 2020. 

 

We are playing Ank Morpork, based on the Terry Pratchett games. I wanted to buy another set a few years ago and was astonished to find that they are available on e-bay at over £100 now; they have stopped making them (why?).

Daughter won; himself and I can barely remember the rules, let alone the winning strategies. 

After lunch was an intensive cross-stitching session, followed by an hour in the garden. With some trepidation I decided it was time to transplant my kohl rabi and swiss chard plants after all our diligent slugging.

Horrors! When I looked inside the garden bin, I could see all the snails up at the top, waiting to make their escape, but not a slug to be seen! Some, no, most of the slugs were absolute MONSTERS when we chucked them in - had the snails eaten them all? I doubt it.

I think they spend every night oozing their way under the lid, and it had been the same slugs we have been trapping and chucking every night.

There's nothing for it - we will have to take my friend's advice (she is over 80 and been a true countrywoman all her life) and 'finish them off'. But how? 'Don't ask, don't tell' can be very good advice in certain circumstances and this might be one of them.

Meanwhile I have planted out the kohl rabi;

 Each little plant is surrounded by slug wool, and I have set cider (we haven't got any beer) traps in the tub, unprotected by slug wool, and placed a cider trap at ground level. We have also put a cider trap next to the garden bin. I'm not sure why, (don't ask, don't tell, remember?) but it seemed a good idea at the time.

Since then I have read up on beer traps, how often you replenish them, what to do with the horrible contents, and, finally, why they are such a bad idea according to one website... 

this is because they attract slugs from all over the garden, and many just take one or two sips and then start on the flowers and veg! NOoooooooooo!

Tonight's slugging, and tomorrow's inspection will be nail-biting times.

In other news, I have barely used the oxygen machine at all today; while I was out walking this morning, and now, after that relatively strenuous hour in the garden, and I shall stop the machine very soon.

Thursday 27th April - best laid plains...

Today was going to be all about cracking on with the of cross stitching. The end is in sight!

However, events intervened. 

I have spent more hours today wearing an FFP2 mask than I have in ages, even including previous hospital appointments for me and my father. Today I  have been accompanying my father to the GP, shopping for his suppers, and restocking his fridge, as he is now at the stage where shopping is too much walking, too tiring.

I enjoyed the shopping - this is the first time I have been in a big Waitrose, rather than a convenience store, since March 2020. Just looking at what's on offer is a real treat, with Himself doing all the reaching up for soup, down for cereal, trekking back for spring onions to help me.

We came home loaded with the contents of one of the cupboards at my father’s flat; packets of bran cereal, some Rich Tea Biscuits  -'I keep them in case I have visitors' (expiry date August 2016) and, big bonus, an enormous wedge of parmesan cheese - I'll replace it with some ready grated which is much easier for him to manage.

I spotted two carefully selected apples had been added to the trolley....

Sadly it's my compost heap which is going to be the main benefactor as the biscuits weren't the only antiques, and I'm not in need of HighFibre food.

Wearing the mask at the doctor's, round the supermarket and in the flat has given my rib cage such a workout! My chest is aching with the effort, bit a good night's sleep will solve it. Very few people are wearing them anymore, I noticed, but sadly it is still necessary for me, and therefore my husband, as catching covid or a chest infection would be seriously bad news. I'm looking forward with hope for when things might change in the future, and more closely for warmer weather which really helps.

Tomorrow will now have to be Even More Cross Stitching! 

Sunday 29th August - Walking and walking and walking

Every day since Monday I have been out walking around the streets nearby. I have a new gadget - I keep calling it a 'fitbit' but that's like calling your Miele vacuum cleaner a Hoover. It's a Garmin something or other, all connected up to my mobile phone by some kind of telepathy.

In some ways it is a ridiculous extravagance, and in others a brilliant purchase, as I am very motivated now to clock up the steps and go out for a walk - oh I'm bored, I'll just walk a little way up the road and take my mind off that packet of crisps which keeps singing out 'eat me, eat mee' 

I set low goals to begin with - 2000 steps, and increased it little by little to 3500. I'm moving up to 4000 this week!

It also measures heart rate, and attempts to measure Oxygen sats but that last seems very optimistic - I will be gasping like a landed fish, and the finger monitor say 77% (which is very very low!) and the wrist band reads 92%. No, I don't think so!

The point is though, walking everyday has completely revitalised me - I feel less 'bleah', no longer stuck in a sort of foggy misty doldrum. I've also been focusing on how I breathe, as the oxygen machine is only effective if I breathe through my nose.

 

We've done tests over the same route - me on my own, me carrying the oxygen machine, me with Best Beloved carrying the machine, and I've been keeping records. It is abundantly clear to me that I am improving in how far I can go, with and without the machine, in just one week. So exciting!

What else...

I have the most perfect morning schedule going at the moment; first of all a tray with breakfast and my mobile phone arrives; 

and I look through the news on my phone while listening to BBC Radio 3. 

Then I do the Bible reading for the day - don't know how long that will last - I have a track record going back many decades of starting a 'daily this' or 'daily that' and giving it up after a couple of months. It does give me an opportunity to ponder and pray for things - family, church, and the unimaginable disaster in Afghanistan, and not only Afghanistan but in other areas of the world. I am astonished that people are still behaving like barbarians everywhere in the world - well, no, I'm not astonished. Just deeply, deeply sad. A mixture of prayer, and donating to various organisations, is all I can offer. Today's reading were a Psalm, and a couple of chapters of Ecclesiastes which kind of summed things up. 

.............

Then I do a quick drawing. Here is the view out of the bedroom window of the birds gathering on the TV aerials for their morning briefing. 

At some stage the cat will join me; 

And then I will get up. This is a great start to the day!

I've finished knitting the greeny-blue vest, or sleeveless top, or slipover, or whatever it is going to turn into, and yesterday I cut and sewed the armhole steek on one side. I have practiced steeks on the teacosies, and also on a swatch of the sleeveless top, so I felt fairly confident.

I did two lines of sewing either side of the cutting line (marked in white) 

Then came the scary part; this wool is a lot more unravel-ry than proper shetland wool.

sewing down the cut edged was finicky work, so I paused in the middle for a mini croissant or two

Sewing and croissants were finished at about the same time.

    

It's looking pretty good. I am waiting for the exact combination of time, mood, light and inclination to all come together to tackle the other armhole. Then I have to do something about the weird bits around the neck where some stitches have become very loose, and it is all finished. No seaming, as I did a clever 3-needle bind-off for the shoulder seams. Hooray!

Lastly, I've been living dangerously by doing some watercolour thumbnails while sitting on the sofa;

 I'm using a waterbrush rather than pot of water which keeps things slightly under control!

Now, it's time to assemble a pot of tea...

Sunday 25th July - Cowering? Per-lease.

 I don't normally go off on a rant, at least, not on this blog, but our latest Health Minister, Sajid Javid, tweeted this yesterday evening;

 I have been tipped over the edge by the use of the word 'cower'. 

I can only assume that in his euphoria about recovering so quickly (in a week - wow!) he has forgotten about all the people - 'his people' - in the sense that he is the one who is supposed to be working to ensure provision of health facilities for everyone - who are still remaining at home for very good reasons.

It is not fear that stops me from socialising, going on holiday or to cafes, shops, theatres. It is the knowledge that I, and many, many others, will almost certainly not be able to 'live' with the virus. 

I bitterly resent the idea that I am 'cowering' from this virus. Like others taking immune suppressant medicines, I am aware that the 'amazing vaccines' probably won't be effective. Like the many, many others with respiratory conditions, I am fairly certain that I do not have the capacity to survive a virus which has such a devastating effect one's ability to breathe.

To describe people who cannot 'live with' this virus as cowards is thoughtless in the extreme.

Ok. Deep breath and see if I can raise my oxygen sats to about 92% - they always drop to about 86% when I get into a strop (normal for healthy people is about 97% or more).

Let's just put this tweet down to careless choice of words, and he's trying to be encouraging and a bit robust - wanting everyone to get out there and back to 'normal' and start rebuilding the economy. 

Sure, but when you have risen to the dizzy heights of the most senior positions in the government of what's left of this country, you should know that you have to think carefully about your choice of words before tweeting to the world. Maybe he still has some Covid brain-fog.

Or, maybe, just maybe, he really did think long and hard and then deliberately chose to tweet those words.

I've just added a new tag to the list - 'furious'.

Tuesday 11th May 2021 - Under the greenwood tree

 This post has been procrastinating itself for a day or so, which means I will have forgotten most of what I meant to put in it.

"That's a relief," I hear you murmur under your breath.

Tuesday was a 'get up and go' sort of day, so I got up in time for us to went somewhere. We went to see the Queen Elizabeth I oak tree, reckoned to be possibly around 1000 years old. The weather was sort of pleasant; clouds and wind and sun, and lovely when the clouds and and wind desisted and let the sun do its thing. You know, that shining and feeling warm thing.

How many layers do you need to wear to go for a walk these days? One fewer than you decided upon, unless it was one more. However I had gloves and a 'draught excluder'; one of those 'neck tubes' which fill the gap between neck and collar, and they made all the difference.

This tree, then. I have had a whim to visit the oldest trees in the area this year; church crawling, our previous 'out and about' project has been on hold since last Summer, and I had a sudden revelation that many of these trees are bound to be in wide open spaces where keeping your distance from 'mapils' (middle-aged persons in lycra', whether running or cycling, and joggers and dog-walkers would not be an issue.

A few moments on Google turned up the Queen Elizabeth Oak; park at the Benbow ponds just outside Midhurst and walk up the hill, past the next pond, and - there it will be - and - there it certainly was;

It is a 'sessile' oak (now I need to do some research needed on different kinds of oak trees) and the thinking is it is that peculiar shape because it may have been pollarded at some time in the past.

I made a video because the weather and the clouds and the birdsong was so wonderful. The grey patch over to the left at the beginning is actually a bank of bluebells; when the sun shone on them they glowed. You might even see the hawk that was circling above us (it looks like an annoying bit of fluff that needs to be brushed of the screen, floating from left to right). The funny 'snorkel' sound is the oxygen concentrator supplying me with roughly 4 litres per minute of oxygen which was a massive help in walking up the fairly steep hill.

O wow! I have posted a video! this is so exciting! Watch out, I might do this again....

I have got myself a copy of 'Meetings With Remarkable Trees' to do some research for future ventures tree hunts.  

     

Monday 1st March - the Toughest Day

 It's not Monday 1st March that is my toughest teaching day, it is any Monday in term-time!

And now, at supper time, I can slowly let myself relax, settle, wind down, slow down...

These days my maximum number of lessons on any day is four, and the most in-a-row is three. However did I manage to teach between ten and thirteen lessons every day, just a year ago?

The amount of physical, mental and nervous energy consumed varies hugely from lesson to lesson, it just so happens that Mondays are 'expensive' in terms of energy demand, which is why I end up more or less incapable of speech, movement, or any intelligent thought. There is a risk that today's blog post might be just a whinge if I'm not careful! I think it is trickier to deal with these lessons over zoom - being a physical presence in the teaching space one can accomplish so much with facial expression, body posture, which is completely ineffectual via a screen. 

There was the occasion that a student carried on playing, paying no attention to the points we had been discussion, so I just started playing 'chopsticks' on my piano at home... her face, when she finally stopped murdering a piece of music and looked up...  

So, if I have only taught four piano lessons, what else has happened today?

The Dolby Vivisol engineer came to do the routine service on the oxygen concentrator that sits close to my side of the bed, which I use at night. That has exercised our combined planning skills for a few days. In the end we opened all the windows, closed off the doors to the downstairs rooms, and spread a towel over the bed and my bedside table. He came, masked and gloved, and was escorted upstairs and watched minutely to check which surfaces he touched. After he had gone, the towels were put in the washing machine and all surfaces wiped. were we too fussy? No, after all he goes from house to house all day.

He is only the second person who has stepped into our house since March last year. The other man was - the Dolby Vivisol engineer, six months ago, for the routine service!

There have been a few deliveries, (it's His birthday quite soon) and various jobs completed around the house. Knitting has happened, and a bit of baking (Apple Scone pudding-ish sort of thing to use some apple discovered in the freezer).

Apart from that.... oh, the tea-pot cosy has moved on a few rows. Well, to be truly truthful, it will have moved on a few rows by bedtime! 

Tuesday 2nd February 2021 - Candlemas

I've titled this Tuesday, but it is actually Wednesday now - what with one thing and another this didn't get written yesterday.

Neither did my handwritten diary for that matter. Never mind - today can be catch-up day.

We have removed the last of the Christmas decorations - the outside wreath and tinsel, and the starry lights inside the front window. I am sad to see them go.

I came across this little rhyme

 If Candlemas day be fair and bright

Then winter will have another flight

If Candlemas day be clouds and rain

Winter is gone and will not come again

on a blog I follow. We should be in luck, as it did rain for most of yesterday, and there were only a few brief spells of sunshine.

We did go for a walk with the new oxygen concentrator in the morning even though it was dank and damp and cold. I pronounce the contraption to be an unqualified success. We (for Himself acted as porter) walked the long half mile to my father's flat and stayed for a conversation - us standing on the grass outside his first floor living room window. And then we walked back - a total of 2.2 km, heading for a mile and a half by the time you add in all the zigzagging across the road to avoid mad joggers and fast-moving infants on scooters. My legs felt a bit leaden by the time we arrived home, but that is probably the furthest I have walked since I don't know when - the Summer maybe? I am looking forward to going out again... soon. It is raining today, and the machine doesn't like getting wet so we will have to pick out time.

We had some books to take round to my father, but didn't take them on this trip in case we turned back half way. Sometimes he lets down a string from his window and we tie a bag to it, for him to haul up (all those years that he went sailing have their purpose still). We can play this game on another trip.

When we got back I found a message on the answerphone from the Surgery - I am to have my first dose of the Covid vaccination, or rather a Covid vaccination as I don't know which version they will use, on Saturday lunchtime. Whoop whoop! No news yet when Himself's turn will be, but it can't be long after mine as we are in the same group.

I made the last of the 'weird and wonderful' recipes that I have been experimenting with so far this year; it is an old favourite of mine - 

'Yoghurt Pot Cake'

empty a pot of yoghurt (ordinary small one) into a mixing bowl, use the same pot to measure in 2 pots of SR flour, 1 1/2 pots of sugar, 1/4 pot mild oil and 2 eggs and mix.

by itself this is rather a boring cake, but if you use vanilla sugar and a good couple of tablespoons of caraway seeds as I did you get seed cake. Or you could use brown sugar and cocoa powder and a bit of milk for chocolate cake, or mixed fruit and spices for fruit cake, or chopped apple for apple cake...

tip into prepared cake pan and bake in a fan over preheated to 170 C for around 35 mins.

At the moment I am baking everything in a little square pan, about 7-8 inches, which fits inside the basket of our Air-fryer. Even mince pies and scones and biscuits get cooked in it - I can fit four biscuits or scones or whatever, taken straight from the freezer with so little time and effort. It was a wonder purchase.

February's project is going to be 'separating puddings' - those concoctions that separate into layers when they are cooked. I know of three so far; Eliza Acton's rich rice pudding, a lemon curd pudding and 'North Sea Oil Slick', a chocolate pudding that makes its own sauce. 

I am delighted that the cats are at last, after 17 years together, beginning to tolerate each other

But this is where I like to sit. I didn't choose the settee for the cats to share. I was relegated to a different chair, not as comfortable or convenient. I need to give this situation some thought to reclaim MY place.

If it is now supposed to be Spring, then I suppose Spring Cleaning should be happening

Mole at the beginning of The Wind in The Willows

 I don't know that we will go as far as whitewashing anything, although there are rooms that need painting. I have decided to do one room per month; that makes it all more possible. Having looked at the downstairs rooms and despaired, I thought I would start with the bathroom and loo. I've a made a list of tasks and just get a couple done each week. I'll keep you posted; so far I have dealt with an outbreak of pink mould at the edge of the basin by removing it with determination and Cillit BANG. 

Sunday 31st January - Here comes the rain

 The rain it raineth every day, almost. Sometimes it sleeteth, and occasionally it stoppeth and the sun shineth for an hour, and that's when I think that Spring might be somewhere up ahead.

It was getting dark, and still raining when I took this just now.

With all the rain we both decided not to go on a walk. I'd like to have a dog, maybe, but not when it is time for walkies. The new oxygen concentrator has been setup and the batteries charged, but it can wait until tomorrow. Or whenever it stops precipitating wetness out of the sky.

I missed a new variation in the game of 'who is allowed to be where' which our cats play endlessly all day. Somehow they both ended up asleep on the settee, one each end, and both woke and sat up at the same time and found themselves staring into each other's faces at point blank range. There was a tense moment, and then they both subsided. As you were, then.

I still have a bag of presents beside my place on the settee (the one that Leo is in). Yesterday I went through it all again and extracted the mini-marshmallow-toasting set. It works unexpectedly well. The marshmallows actually go up in flame with a noise like indoor fireworks. They taste pretty good too, sort of charred and melty (and a bit sooty).  There was a bit of a learning curve on getting the right moment to eat them - hot but not HOT.

Another present which I have brought out is a pack of post-it notes with origami instructions on them. I thought the glue would be a problem, but no. I made a penguin and a piano during a zoom-style call yesterday lunchtime. It is slightly disorientating in that you make the model by following the instructions on the page BELOW the top one... obvious when you think about it, but I hadn't thought about it. But that explains why the next post-it has instructions on it for the piano that I have just made, and why the word 'penguin' might just be visible on the piano. The penguin is labelled 'cat'. 

Finally, I have brought the 'procrastinator' pencils into service. They do have a lovely quality lead in them, and I shall enjoy doodling with them instead of doing what I should be doing.

This is the first drawing I have started (I plan to rub out the pencil and add watercolour tomorrow) since 5th January. Doodling with a procrastinator pencil, and then going over with waterproof pen.

 

 

 

Thursday 28th January - Adventures in - this that and the other

Here's a thought; quite often, what they mean by 'mindfulness' is actually 'mindlessness'. Like doing colouring books, or, in my case, playing freecell on the computer. And quite a lot of my knitting projects are selected for their 'mindless' qualities. I did see an expensive scarf knitting kit on a 'lifestyle' website; for a substantial amount of money you got a ball of wool which changed colour at regular intervals and a pair of needles. The idea is that you sit and knit (with or without the company of soft music and  candle) until the wool changed colour. Then you will feel - however you feel - presumable all calm and refreshed. 

I like mindless knitting that I can do while watching television or listening to the radio or a book. I'm not so experienced that I can knit and read a book like some people I know.   

The mitred square blanket is an excellent project for mindless knitting. You just need a basket of wool - bought for the purpose or left over, and suitable needles.

I made one as an experiment as and use it to protect the settee from the cat that usually sleeps there;

No, not that cat, the other cat. I followed the instructions to begin with, using thinnish wool and 3.5mm needles. However I kept getting confused as to which row I was on. And my diagonal patterns were all inconsistent. Then I had two brainwaves; I decided not to care about he direction of the diagonals, and I adapted the instructions so that it every row followed the same process. So once you have the right number of stitches on the needle (in my case 40) and the mark placed in between the 20th and 21st stitch, proceed as follows;

Knit to marker, slip marker, knit two stitches together to decrease by one stitch, knit the to the end. That's it. When you end up with just two stitches, get rid of the marker, pass one stitch over the other, cut the yarn leaving a tail of a couple of inches to be darned in later and pull this tail through the remaining stitch to secure. I did have hundreds (so it seemed) of tails to sew in later, but I notice on another blog the knitter just 'knitted in the tails as she went along'. Interesting idea for the future.

I had about 5 balls of double knitting, all part used, all left over from various ideas and projects. So, I have been mindlessly knitting for a while on sweet little short 4mm needles, whenever I was in the mood. It doesn't take all that long to complete a square. 

I know have a small rug with 84 squares, all done with almost complete mindlessness. It needed an edging and since my double pointed needles were still in the knitting basket, I embarked upon An Adventure; I have learned how to do and Applied I-Cord Edging, I kid you not!

Lookee lookee! Now, this is Mindful knitting; it takes a lot of concentration to 

Knit 2, slip 1 purlwise, yarn forward, slide the stitches to the left hand end of the needle, use that end to pick up a stitch through the ridged knobbly bit on the edge of the blanket, pass the 'yarn forward' stitch over the picked up stitch, and the pass the 'slip 1 purlwise' stitch over the picked up stitch, slide the remaining three stitches to the right hand end of the needle and start again. from 'Knit 2'. 

But what a neat and classy binding! Magical! So far I have traveled up one side and just turned the first corner - that has taken two Sherlock Holmes episode (Jeremy Brett) and one Father Brown.  

We have had more adventures with investigating oxygen concentrators; I had a long telephone  conversation with the respiratory nurse and, quite reasonably, she didn't want to advise anything without a consultation. She was also certain that the best solution would be to have a big oxygen cylinder at home, and a small one that we fill up when we want to go out for me to carry and breathe with. 

I feel less than enthusiastic about this. I was just imagining taking the big cylinder in the back of the car when we went for visit friends or stay in a holiday cottage or something - that's not going to work. And we know from our experiments with our big 'portable' concentrator that the setting of 3 or 4 on pulse is enough to make a huge difference. 

Well, Himself has spent several weeks researching what is available, comparing them all, reading the reviews and gathering information. Then he had a long phone conversation with a company that supplies these lighter-weight machines, and - reader, he bought one. It is sitting in the hall, quarantining before we unwrap it properly and charge it up and Take It For A Walk! I can't tell you how adventurous this all seems! I have celebrated by - going for a walk (without oxygen) of about 1.2 km. I could have gone further, but the pavements were busy and the temperature was dropping... 

My final adventure starts this evening; I have a piano pupil who wants to study for Grade 8. Which means, of course, that I, too, will have to study for Grade 8. It's a long, long time since I played 'difficult' pieces. The book arrived yesterday; I hope she doesn't want to learn this one; (Toccata by Khachaturian)

This looks more my style, although the next two pages have interesting' moments...(Snow, Moon and Flowers by Peter Sculthorpe)

 

Best get to work.

Monday 11th January - I, me, myself

 That's the letter for today - I

Me, myself, and what is in my mind's eye?

I'm sure we used to have a copy of this book; 

and now suddenly this poem has floated to the top of my brain

The Tyger

BY WILLIAM BLAKE

Tyger Tyger, burning bright, 

In the forests of the night; 

What immortal hand or eye, 

Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies. 

Burnt the fire of thine eyes?

On what wings dare he aspire?

What the hand, dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,

Could twist the sinews of thy heart?

And when thy heart began to beat,

What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain, 

In what furnace was thy brain?

What the anvil? what dread grasp, 

Dare its deadly terrors clasp! 

When the stars threw down their spears 

And water'd heaven with their tears: 

Did he smile his work to see?

Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger Tyger burning bright, 

In the forests of the night: 

What immortal hand or eye,

Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Ah, but it uses the word 'symmetry', not 'geometry'. As you were then.

I managed a 'quick' walk before lunch - I haven't been out while the weather was so cold. 

My Other Half was cooking lunch, so I had just 20 minutes. Being on my own I didn't have any oxygen support, and I can tell you I surely noticed the difference. Even so I managed 300 metres in my first 6 minute walk test, and then spent several minutes standing still until my breathing steadied. Once I was ready, I walked on a little further, stopped again to catch my breath, and turned for home. I made this a second walk test and covered 340 m. The further distance is because the return journey is slightly downhill. One again I paused, and then covered the final distance, just ten houses from home. Overall, 800 metres in the 20 minutes.

If I had been using oxygen, even at the lowest setting, I reckon I would have all this and more without needing to stop. 

My reward for all this effort was a glass of wine with my beef pie... well-deserved, I thought, although it made me quite sleepy all afternoon. 

I had a go at the next lesson of touch-typing. It is as I thought; adding two more letters has more than doubled the difficulty (although some of that might have been the wine??)

It does mean the little stories are getting more involved;

i sigh like jill; jed has a high hall; see jaffa as he jigs

a sad seal did fall; dad filled a field; a sill leaks alas;

i like a fig; half a heel has  held; jill has a gash; i hike

This is Such Hard Work now!

I'm spending more time going over each word, and then each line, until I manage to get it right. Then, of course, I ruin it by rattling in this post using my 'eyes on the keys, using three fingers' method.  Tomorrow, if I dare, I get to learn o, n and the shift keys. To be honest, a Bach four-part fugue is easier.

   

Monday 4th January - more walking, this and that,

 I don't think I've done so many walks in a row for, since, oh I don't know.

We only went out for a short while this morning as it was dripping when we went out, and it turned to rain quite soon.

The next few paragraphs are all about walking so ignore if you like... 

About 12 minutes, give or take, and 750m, approximately. I know this because I did two 6 minute walk tests almost in quick succession. This test is what I used to do every time I went for cardiology or rheumatology tests at the clinics in London, in the days of yore. Such a simple test; they check blood pressure and oxygen sats, then I walk up and down a 30m length of corridor for six minutes, they work out how far I have travelled (back in 2019 it used to be around 400m) and check blood pressure (crazy high) and oxygen sats (alarmingly low) again.

I don't drag the blood pressure stuff around, and there's no point trying to gt oxygen sats reading when my hands are cold, but I can see how far I can go in six minutes. It's down to 300m, give or take, and even more inaccurate because every way from our door is up - be it slope or gradient -  and that really slows me down.

Yesterday I did a longer loop; a total of 1300m wit the portable oxygen concentrator set to 2 litres per minute (pulse). Today we set it to 3 litres per minute (pulse). I would have been happy to do at least the same loop as yesterday, or maybe further, but rain and portable oxygen concentrator seemed a bad mix so we turned back after the first walk test.

The next plan is to see what happens if I load a bag with about 2-3kg of books and try the loop with the machine set to 2 or 3 litres per minute. The lighter weight machines come in at around that kind of weight, depending on which one you choose. 

All these experimentations are showing one thing for certain - using oxygen when I am out does make a huge difference to what I can manage, and staying even-tempered, even uphill. I can even talk, rather than grunt! 

We are in the data collection phase as the moment...

While we were walking I had brain space to notice things as well, such as the big fat buds on magnolias, wrapped tight in their furry blankets, and a camellia covered in right red flowers. This is all good stuff!

I've started reading some of the books I was given for Christmas. This one was on my 'wantables' list for some time - I resisted buying it for maybe a year or so. I love Ravilious prints and paintings and now I have 54 in one book, along with rather dark little verses. If I can consume them slowly, like rich chocolates, I will be able to make them last a while.

I'm quite glad to have finished the Advent book 'Frequencies of God, reflections on poems by R S Thomas' written by Carys Walsh. A whole five weeks of R S Thomas was quite a workout for this brain - not many of the poems were what one might call 'accessible' and by the New Year I was feeling like elastic which has lost its stretch. 

I'm looking forward to reading 'A Word in the Wilderness' in Lent this year, another Christmas present;

he has chosen different poets so there should be a good mixture and hopefully not all as densely packed as R S Thomas.

Then there is this, also on my 'wantables' list, an a surprisingly heavy little book;

To begin with I just want to make a drawing of the cover picture!

I've made a start on this book (a bit of a cheat to include this as it is a book I ordered for myself and then handed over to be wrapped up)

 The little squares for drawing in are only about an inch and a bit square - I'm enjoying doodling when the advertisements come on. If I see that Go Compare man once more, that will be one time too many, but I think we are stuck with him. Oh well, at least he's got a job...!

  

    

Saturday 2nd January 2021 - 9th Day of Christmas

 Today was a bit of a red-letter day - we went out for a walk!

You are starting at me, wondering what is going on here. 

A couple of days ago I had a conversation with a respiratory nurse regarding an appointment for oxygen assessment. In view of the amount of covid that is around, we have deferred the appointment until April or May.

However, this appointment was to assess whether using oxygen would help me when I am going for a walk. The problem is that I already have quite severe pulmonary fibrosis, meaning that the oxygen can't get through the membrane of my lungs into my bloodstream. Because tests showed that my levels dip below what is sensible when I am asleep, I have to use an oxygen concentrator overnight.

Any exertion such as going upstairs, or getting dressed in a hurry because I've forgotten about a piano lesson, or walking up a slight incline, leaves me gasping like a landed fish. 

Getting low on oxygen is quite unpleasant; it makes me feel grumpy, and anxious. If I have really pushed myself too far, I start panicking and have to 'speak firmly' to myself to keep control. I don't think these are 'mental' issues; I think it is part of the physical side of low oxygen, because as soon as I have recovered my breath - three - five minutes - I feel completely normal again. My oxygen saturation levels will dip to below 70%, but will recover to around 90% if I just wait. And gasp. 

As a result of talking to the nurse, we decided to take my portable oxygen concentrator, the one we use when we are going away overnight, for a walk. It is 'portable' as in having a carrying strap and weighing 'only' ten pounds... 

We set off to test how this would go. Himself  acted as porter, we set the machine going and I would the nasal canula around my ears. We also held hands (how sweet!), partly because we always do except when I get grumpy, and partly so that we would remember that we were attached by the canula.

Well wow.

Not only did I do the full loop around the block (a whole kilometre!) but I added an extra length down what I consider to be a hill and back up again (200m) and kept going at a slightly faster snail's pace than normal. I didn't need to stop and catch my breath (although the machine complained a few times that I was breathing too hard) and I didn't get anxious or grumpy or feel I was forcing myself onwards (as far as that drive, as far as that lamp post, as far as that car)

This is excellent news; we had set the machine to deliver 2 litres per minute 'pulse' rather than 'continuous stream', in other words the oxygen is supplied when the machine senses my breathing in. The reason for choosing this setting is that there are a number of smaller, lighter machines around, weighing in at about 2.5 pounds but will can only deliver up to this amount of oxygen, and only on a   pulse setting. 

The nurse was of the opinion that I would need to use an oxygen bottle delivering 4 litres continuous, and I don't doubt that this is what I would need if I wanted to go cycling or be more active.  But for ambling along a promenade, walking along the path through the woods, or

...... joining excursions when having a River Cruise Holiday in France or Brussels or along the Rhine..... 

it looks as though the smaller little portable machine might keep me going for a year or two! I could carry the machine and Himself can load the spare batteries into his back pack. I would be able to go off on my own! We need not hold hands! (Although we probably would!) 

We shall experiment further over the next day or so, before I try and persuade the nurse to give us the form we would need to buy, or even be prescribed, the lightweight machine.

But I am so encouraged my today's walk - 1.2 km - who would have thought it possible!  

Sunday 24th April - Another week goes by

The weather's been cold and tricksy this week - sitting inside in the sun, you would think that it was a lovely day out there, but the reality is it has been COLD. I've been caught out a few times, and then, a few times, I've dug out my winter lined trousers and worn a vest and then BOILED.

I suppose that's what Spring is all about... I stand at the back door looking down the garden to the bench and table under the bare branches of the apple tree... time was when we would sit under the shade of the tree drinking chilled white wine and eating tapas and pretending we were somewhere more Mediterranean.

Anyway, here are about four posts all rolled into one - you can either read it all in one go, or practice some self-restraint and make it last.

So, what have we been up to? He hoovered the house Everywhere, and changed the filters and cannula on my oxygen machine.... We changed the sheets on the bed.... I cleaned the luvverly loo... - you know, houseworky stuff.

I wrestled (and lost) with a Goldberg Variation (just look at those time signatures - is that some kind of a JOKE? and he swaps them over every so often just for another laugh)

On Wednesday the children kept dropping the extremely expensive also xylophones so I bought some "tub-trugs" for carting the instruments from the school to the village hall next door where their lessons take place. They were too small for the xylophones, but just right for disinfecting two dozen recorders every week. So, on Friday, I bought another three larger ones. No expense spared. And a glove puppet for a big Whole School Samba Event that I will be involved in later this term. I'm hoping that the puppet will be able to teach two-and three- year-olds how to play samba. Maybe. Maybe not.

  

Today, one of the cats was all pestering and restless. I wondered if we had forgotten to give them breakfast. We had, but that wasn't the problem. Nope. She wanted us to go down to the bottom of the garden to make sure there were no dragons. Both cats are suffering at the moment as there are some new fierce cats around. Not for no reason is one of our cats nick-named Fraidy-Cat.

Anyway, it was briefly warm enough for us to go and do a bit of gardening. Himself to scare the "lawn" with a a savage looking rake mounted on two wheels which you pull and push and clank around with, accumulating piles of dead grass and moss. I think this is the first time we have subjected the grass to this treatment ever. I hope it appreciates the effort.

I carried on digging up the ground under the laurel hedge and replanted a couple more pots of bulbs in the hope that they will joyously burst into life again next Spring. The ones I dumped in the earth a week or so ago don't look too shabby

 
So I am remaining hopeful for these narcissi (and one stray tulip)

They were truly lovely earlier this year.

The garden is full of blue-bells this year - I didn't plant them, so how did they get here?

Anyway, after all that effort we deserved a cup of tea and cake. The actual cake we had with the cup of tea has gone, but I made another one for the photograph. I doubt it will last very long...

Melt 30g (a 1cm slice) of butter in a large mug in the microwave. Beat in an egg, 2 tablespoons brown sugar, 2 tablespoons cocoa powder, 2 tablespoons SR flour, 2 tablespoons porridge oats. Add a drop of milk if the mixture is stiff. The recipe that this is based on says cook for 1 minutes 20 seconds on high in an 800W microwave. Ours is more powerful, and I find 1 min is about right. This makes a sort of brownie-cakey sort of thing. And it takes about the same time as the tea takes to brew.

I use a large plastic mug which is really meant for heating soup.

N-i-c-e.

Right. Himself, in his role of House-Manager is preparing tonight's supper (curry) and I ought to get this dining room table clear. It is covered in raps and chants at the moment, part of the planning for the Great Samba Project, There's "creative disorder", and "work-in-progress". And then there's "what-a-mess".

Friday 28th March - Another Duvet Day

I'm sitting up in bed, taking another day off.

At the moment I'm feeling a bit of a fraud, sitting here, tapping away. However, bitter experience tells me that if I bounce up and say "I'm fine", set off on my rounds for the day (coffee with parents, three and a half hours teaching samba and recorders, an hour of private teaching in the evening) I will be flattened again by evening. I don't feel quite so bad about letting this school down - they won't have to pay me, and the children come out of ordinary lessons to the recorder classes. In other schools, if I don't turn up the teachers have to alter their plans and suddenly deliver a lesson when they would otherwise be doing something else.

I'm learning to pay attention to the signs; eyes refusing to stay open, increased breathlessness, thigh muscles feeling as though I have just climbed the Empire
State Building. That's how I felt when I got back from a day teaching yesterday. If I just keep going, I will end up with another chest infection. Boo-Hoo.


So, I have rung my parents to cry off, and will ring this afternoon's school - again - that makes three times this term, which is a bit upsetting) and spend the day in bed. I have even gone so far as to connect myself to my oxygen machine, which I normally only have to use at night, to give myself every chance to recuperate, hopefully BEFORE I'm actually ill again.

It's a new thing, this "giving in" to a lurgy instead of ploughing on with the aid of aspro and willpower. But there's no point in receiving good medical advice if you then don't follow it.

Someone is very pleased; the upstairs cat loves it when I'm having a duvet day. She has just cottoned on to what is happening and appeared beside me. She's got herself nicely settled but is making it nearly impossible for reach over and finish this post.